Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Dubya Principle

George W. Bush has perfected a new career path: Don't Show Up.

While some would argue that Bush II is a perfect example of the Peter Principle, I think it's more than that. The Peter Principle surmises that in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. In other words, you are promoted for every job well-done until you finally reach a point beyond your abilities. By that standard, George W. Bush exhausted the Peter Principle somewhere around third grade. Call it the Dubya Principle©.

From lackadaisical student to absentee National Guardsman to failed oil man (George W. "Dry Hole" Bush) to alcoholic amnesiac to perpetually vacationing president -- Dubya has built his career by staying out of the way while Pappy's powerful friends fix everything. George aWol Bush.

The more we learn of his lack of involvement in important national decisions, the more it confirms what we have always suspected: the most crucial decision in life is choosing your parents. Get that right and everything else comes easy. That, in a nutshell, is the Dubya Principle©.

Of course, that leaves a lot of the heavy lifting to Bush's vice president. The bumbling, bungling president is Gomer Pyle to Cheney's Sargent Carter. Like Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C. Bush II is a spin-off that's not as good as the original.


Of course, Gomer Pyle was cancelled after his fifth year, so there's hope for us yet.

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