Monday, December 05, 2005

40 Bananas To The Mile?

Have no fears: the Bush Administration still has its priorities straight. Should we ever tire of trading blood for oil, we will have plenty of bananas to take up the slack. The Washington Post reports that a recent poll of Central American attitudes toward the United States shows us to be extremely popular. Nations like Honduras, El Salvador and Panama rate America quite highly. Thus, it is unlikely that we will see a cut-off of our imports of bananas. Hooray! Of course, Brazil and Argentina think we stink. Oh, well. You can't win 'em all.

Surely our brilliant policies in the Middle East have given our ratings a similar boost in major oil-producing Muslim countries, right? Eh, not so much. The bottom line: Those people really don't like us. I wonder why? Yet if they ever act on their feelings and shut off our supplies of oil, the Bush team has a secret weapon. My investigation has turned up a photo of the oil-free transportation planned as a response: